


My Best Self (is when I'm with you)

by moonlightoath (ignite_pass_tetsuya)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Mention of blood, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignite_pass_tetsuya/pseuds/moonlightoath
Summary: The day of Arashi's feature has arrived, and Mika wants to help her look her very best for her big day. Though Mika has already had his own feature, he unexpectedly becomes the center of attention again when he receives a heartfelt admission of love and adoration that silences the last of the voices in his head telling him that this happiness with Arashi can't possibly last forever.
Relationships: Kagehira Mika/Narukami Arashi
Kudos: 39





	My Best Self (is when I'm with you)

**Author's Note:**

> Long story short: Naru-chan's feature scout made me Feel Things.
> 
> I had a very different direction in mind when I started writing this. I was intending to focus on how cute I thought it would be if Mika helped her put on her feature outfit (that he canonically helped to make!) and gave her a pep talk or something before she went on stage, but as I wrote, it took off in a completely different direction. I was enjoying it, so I just went with it.
> 
> I'm just very soft when I think about the two of them and how they ended up being "home" for each other.

Arashi’s posture is perfect where she sits upon a stool in an empty classroom, hopelessly lost among her racing thoughts. It’s the day of her feature, and although she wants to feel more excited than anything about having explicit permission to shine the way she’s always dreamed, the excitement is overshadowed by… darker emotions.

Fear. Anxiety. Nervousness. You name it.

Behind her, Mika’s touch is gentle as he carefully does up the buttons in the back of the garment. His fingers are cool as they brush the back of her neck, and she shivers involuntarily. She’s glad he’s here; if she were alone, she might try to run off the stage like a bride running from the altar.

Running from the commitments she’s afraid to make. 

Her own hands rest in her lap, and the gloves they’re covered in prevent her from picking at her nails until they bleed - a blessing, since blood would surely stain the pretty fabric. She can’t seem to stop her leg from bouncing, though, and occasionally her heel makes contact with the tile floor and _clacks_ much too loudly in the silence of the room.

She hears the shifting of Mika’s clothes as he kneels behind her to tie up the bow in the back. She can reach it herself, of course, but Mika had insisted that “Oshi-san taught me how to tie ‘em so they lay pretty and don’ get lopsided, see,” and Arashi couldn’t find a reason to argue with him.

That, and Mika kept going on and on about how she deserves to look perfect, especially today.

“What’s wrong, Naru-chan?” Mika asks quietly, breaking her gently out of her thoughts. He finishes with the bow and stands, resting a hand softly on her shoulder. “Yer real nervous. ‘S not like you.”

Arashi just shakes her head and continues to stare at her hands, but she does finally still her leg.

“I don’t know,” she whispers back. “It’s a difficult feeling to describe, you know? I’m not a stranger to putting myself out there, but it’s usually… not on my terms. Not entirely, anyway. I do and wear what I’m told to because I have to, most of the time. But this time, I got to make the rules. It makes me happy, but it’s also terrifying to put myself out there like _this_.”

Mika walks around the stool to kneel in front of Arashi instead. She won’t meet his eyes - feels like she _can’t_ \- and twirls the pearl bracelet around her wrist just for something to do.

She watches as Mika slowly covers her hands with his, turning them over so he can slide his long fingers across her palms to lightly grip her wrists. She grabs his in return, and it grounds her somewhat as she closes her eyes and leans down to rest her forehead against Mika’s. 

“I’m proud of you, Naru-chan,” he says into the space between them, and she lets out a broken sound as the pressure behind her eyes builds quickly, dangerously. “But you deserve t’ be happy and comfy every day, not jes today, ya know.”

She blinks back her tears if only to save her makeup, because she doesn’t have the time to fix it if her mascara runs and cuts trails through her foundation. She really should’ve worn waterproof.

When she looks at him properly, Mika is still staring up at her with a small smile on his face, looking every bit as if he’s gazing upon some precious jewel. The open adoration he always holds for her when they’re alone like this makes a spark flare in her chest, and she allows herself to simply take comfort in his presence for a few moments as he rubs his thumbs gently along the inside of her wrists. 

Mika’s smile widens into a genuine grin. In a rare bout of courage, he leans up to kiss her softly, letting it linger until the tension begins to drain from Arashi’s shoulders. When he starts to pull away, she grips his wrists more tightly and draws him back in, stealing just one more kiss, then another, before letting him part from her.

“You’re so good to me, Mika-chan,” she says, kissing him once more on the tip of his nose for good measure. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

Mika giggles, _giggles_ , and it’s a sound Arashi will never tire of. She wants to hear it for the rest of her life. “Nah, you’d be fine without me, Naru-chan,” he tells her, and Arashi immediately pouts in response. “Naaah, don’ gimme that look!”

“Then don’t say things that aren’t true.” She’s not mad, understanding that he was only teasing, but she hopes the look in her eyes is enough to convey what she’s feeling: those borderline self-deprecating comments have no place here. Not with her.

When Mika just blinks at her and doesn’t say anything in response, she continues, “You still seem to think, even after all this time, that if you weren’t around then nothing would change. That I’d still live my life the same as always and be able to hold my head high in the face of anything. But that just isn’t true.” 

She reaches out slowly to cup Mika’s cheek in her hand, begging him to understand through both her words and her touch. “I can put on a brave face when I need to, but it’s only when I’m with _you_ that the bravery isn’t just an act, you know? _You_ make me brave, _you_ make me strong, and I need you to realize exactly how important you are to me, Mika Kagehira.” She watches Mika’s eyes widen at the use of his full name, but he doesn’t interrupt. 

“I am here, right now, as you see me, because of you. There has been no other person in my life who has loved and supported me as unconditionally as you have. You are the person I have waited my entire life for, and the person I need the most. Please…” she trails off into a whisper before finding her voice again, and this time it’s unwavering in her conviction. “Please understand how much I love you.” 

Mika’s own eyes are suspiciously bright as he covers Arashi’s hand with his own and bows his head under the weight of her words. He holds his other sleeve to his eyes, but in this moment, Arashi couldn’t care less if her outfit gets a bit tear-stained. It feels like she’s finally, _finally_ getting through to him, and that means so much more to her.

“‘S not fair, Naru-chan.” Mika keeps his eyes covered, but his small sniffles and the tightness in his voice give him away. “Today’s fer _you_ , ya know, not me. I already had my day to feel special.”

“Oh, Mika-chan…” Arashi sighs fondly, pulling Mika to her chest. He immediately wraps his arms around her in return. “If you somehow still think that you don’t deserve to feel special every day, then I definitely haven’t been doing my job well enough.”

“Ya do a great job, Naru-chan, I swear, I jes… I mean, I--” a choked sob cuts him off, but he continues, “I’m jes real happy is all. You make me feel things I never have before and I dunno how to describe ‘em… mebbe this is what hope feels like?” Arashi tightens her arms around him and feels Mika do the same in return.

Mika’s hugs have always been her favorite, so she can tell immediately that this one is different; It’s much more fierce, as if he’s been holding back all this time and finally feels like he can let go. It makes a strange, giddy kind of feeling bubble up in her chest, because even though they’ve been best friends for _years_ and Mika trusts her like he does nobody else, something has still shifted between them, even now. 

The last of the shackles has fallen.

Arashi hides her smile in Mika’s hair, elated beyond belief that she finally found the one key she needed to unlock his heart.

She tells him, “Our stories are very different, but I understand how hard it can be to fight that voice in the back of your head telling you that you’re not good enough, and not to get your hopes up that this time will be different. But, Mika… I know you are. You’re different in the best way, and because of you, I finally know what it’s like to feel like I’m coming home to a place I belong.”

When Mika finally pulls back, just a little, she can see _just_ how vulnerable he is. His eyes are moving back and forth rapidly, searching her face for any sign that she wants to change her mind and say ‘just kidding!’ but finding nothing. Their gazes mirror each other, saying, “ _Nobody else knows me like you do. Nobody else has ever seen this side of me. I’m trusting you with all that I am.”_

“I love you, Naru-chan,” Mika says, clear and strong in his conviction. 

Arashi smiles, brushes away one last tear from Mika’s cheek, and says, “I love you too, Mika-chan.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on Twitter [@mezzo_fortay](https://twitter.com/mezzo_fortay)


End file.
